Dignity

I was very impressed this week with the quiet dignity demonstrated in the statement given by the Norgrove parents. They have suffered an indescribable loss in their daughter having been killed in a rescue attempt in Afghanistan. What has stood out for me about them is two things. Firstly they gave no initial reaction to the media when the tragedy occurred. This showed immense restraint and allowed them the time and distance for an appropriate and measured response rather than a reaction that would have been more spontaneous and perhaps not as true in representing how they would feel once they had had time to properly assimilate the devastating news. The second thing which impressed me is how when they have come to make a statement, they have exhibited true dignity. The media has made much of the failed rescue attempt and alluded to the fact that Linda Norgrove may have lived had the US forces held off and waited for more negotiations. The parents however were very clear in that nobody knows what would have happened had the rescue attempt not been made. They express gratitude and respect for the honesty of the Americans in admitting that they were probably responsible for the death. They explicitly say that they do not want to get into the blame game, as that will not bring Linda back. At some level you sense in their statements an acceptance of the fact that Linda took a substantial risk in being in Afghanistan in the first place. In their actions and their words in the middle of a time of intense grief Mr and Mrs Norgrove are an outstanding example to all of us. If we could all learn to respond slowly rather than react hastily, and if we could all learn to take responsibility and reject the blame game then the world would surely be a happier and better place. If we could also realise like them that any outcome comes about because of a myriad of factors and we cannot second guess what would have happened had any of those factors been different, we would surely be more comfortable in our decisions and not let hindsight persuade us that what might have happened would have been so much better, if only we had done things slightly differently.